Toddler Club Rules

This Comes from the point of view of toddlers, nationwide. A set of rules to be adhered to at all times. Dont dissapoint now!

Toddler Club Rules:
1. Always leave asking to go to the toilet until the very last minute. Mommy will appreciate you leaving it that long

2. If your sibling has got something you NEED then you must take it without hesitation.Just snatch it away. If you cry, Mommy will come anyway.

3. Cry out for absolutley no reason in the night at least once or twice.

4. Ask for a specific cereal, then change your mind. You’re allowed to, you’ve had a hard night of wailing!

5. If Mommy pours you a big bowl of cereal, dont eat it. What are you a hamster?


6. If Mommy only does you a small bowl of cereal, ask for more, but don’t eat it.

7. Ask for a banana, take one bite, but dont eat the rest. Infact, leave it wherever you like.

8. When you’re being told off, always make Mommy or Daddy laugh, that will win them over.

9. Try and be naked at all times especially when there are visitors.

10. Always blame your twin or sibling for anything you might have done which you might get in trouble for.

11. Be sure Mommy pours your juice in the right colour cup, if she doesnt know which colour that is, she even your mother?

12. When being put for a nap, fight it with all your might. You do not need sleep!

13. When Mommy walks out of the room, call her back straight away to ask her something.

14. When being put in your car seat, try out yours and Mommy’s core muscle group by going as stiff as a board. You cannot be tamed, youre a free spirit.

15. When having your hair brushed, scream!

16. Don’t take your medicine when you’re supposed to, the germs are your friends.

17. When brushing your teeth, why not have a fight with your sibling about the right colour toothbrush. Then cry.

18. Be an absolute pleasure when with grandparents, to make your parents out to be fibbers. 

19. Add ‘plleease’ to the end of any sentence when asking for things, works wonders! 

20. Be Grumpy all day until Daddy comes home. Daddy is so much fun! Mommy doesnt know what shes on about. Toddlers are a delight!

Feel free to let me know your Toddlers rules.

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