This post comes as i listen to my almost three year old’s defyng their sleep and not taking the nap i have put them down for. They used to be such good sleepers. My Mom will tell you they still are. Anyway, I’ll remind them of this time when they’re 15 and can’t get out of bed.
Dear Molly and Clara,
I have watched you when you think I’m not looking. i can see you playing with each other. I have watched you teach each other things, just this morning you were teaching each other how to do forward rolls on the trampoline, “Not like that, watch me!” i heard. I watch as you show your toys such affection and mimic what Daddy and i say to you. You hold them tight as i hold you tight and tell them you love them. I have watched you learn to eat and talk and walk on your own. Such tiny little things when you were born, you’re so clever to have achieved so much already. i can see how much you love each other. I can see you hug each other when you play in the garden and i am in the kitchen. I see you look for each other at playgroup.
I have listened to your chatter over the baby monitor; talking to each other, being bossy and saying sorry. I have listened to you tell Daddy about our day and recall the things you have seen. I have listened to your howls of laughter at each other, at me and at Daddy. Squeals of delight as you all play hide and seek. I have listened to you say goodnight to each other and to your toys, that’s when i know you’re getting sleepy. i have listened to you tell each other you’re scared and the other say “its ok, don’t be scared!”. I have listened to your over tired sobs. i have listened to your baby feet bump on the floor wherever you go and the splat of your hands and knees when you fall down.
I have sent off your application form for nursery this week. i cant tell you how much it breaks my heart that someone else is going to have you for a few hours every day. Someone who you don’t know. Someone who doesn’t know you and the things you like or don’t like. But i know you’re going to love it!
I don’t know where the last three years have gone.
You’re going through so much change already. Right now you’re trying to change your sleep times and neither me nor you know when you want to sleep. But i know this phase will come an end soon, just the same as all the others have and a new one will start and i’ll be there for it.